Can you analyze my stroke, PARTNER?
 It's one of the best I have ever seen!
 Sorry, but that limpy shaft makes your stroke ineffective
 Why would I want to do that?

Do you think my shaft is long enough?
 WOW! Thats impressive, PARTNER!
 Its too small in length and diameter, PARTNER
 I have seen pins with more impressive heads!

I need some help getting it up and down, PARTNER
 I will wash your balls, PARTNER
 You need help period
 Never up, Never In, PARTNER

Getting the ball in the hole is hard, PARTNER
 Well, if its hard, it might get in the hole, PARTNER
 In your dreams, PARTNER
 Don't worry, this is as close as you will get!